I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
