I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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