ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I smell like Dick and happiness
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
