That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
