I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize