just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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