I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
