Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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