he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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