I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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