I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
