you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Woke up backwards on a recliner
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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