the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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