for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
