I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
