hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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