I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
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You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.