I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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