Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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