just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.