For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny