I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done