Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Dating After Heartbreak
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...