It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat