They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?