Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(214): View more from Texas

Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(214): Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again. http://tfl.nu/sc3c

Replies (5) Good night (1595) Bad night (587)
Favorite
(512): View more from Texas

My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(512): My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle http://tfl.nu/nk60

Replies (44) Good night (2730) Bad night (913)
Favorite
(850): View more from Florida

Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?

(850): View more from Florida

I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(850): Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave? (850): I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife http://tfl.nu/5iik

Replies (86) Good night (39125) Bad night (2107)
Favorite
(848): View more from New Jersey

I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(848): I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa http://tfl.nu/605l

Replies (152) Good night (6370) Bad night (58125)
Favorite
(813): View more from Florida

he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(813): he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach http://tfl.nu/e6go

Replies (25) Good night (3117) Bad night (2882)
Favorite
(912): View more from Georgia

I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(912): I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person http://tfl.nu/xc27

Replies (25) Good night (8347) Bad night (776)
Favorite
(301): View more from Maryland

Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(301): Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night http://tfl.nu/wbgo

Replies (15) Good night (4489) Bad night (669)
Favorite
(973): View more from New Jersey

She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(973): She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby http://tfl.nu/drn9

Replies (13) Good night (698) Bad night (5294)
Favorite
(870): View more from Arkansas

I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(870): I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible". http://tfl.nu/e3k3

Replies (43) Good night (7821) Bad night (1687)
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over

(314): View more from Missouri

you can't hurt those

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over (314): you can't hurt those http://tfl.nu/gmcq

Replies (7) Good night (4696) Bad night (1162)
Favorite
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(570): How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks" http://tfl.nu/r0yt

Replies (26) Good night (6596) Bad night (1079)
Favorite
(313): View more from Michigan

I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(313): I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city. http://tfl.nu/cnew

Replies (9) Good night (1370) Bad night (2567)
Favorite
(406): View more from Montana

you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(406): you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College" http://tfl.nu/x9bo

Replies (13) Good night (4077) Bad night (1069)
Favorite
(772): View more from Florida

we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(772): we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life http://tfl.nu/tfqf

Replies (15) Good night (1042) Bad night (482)
Favorite
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(814): I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him http://tfl.nu/pxxc

Replies (5) Good night (768) Bad night (684)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard