just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
