the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
