I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
