The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Randomize
