good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize