White coat. Heels.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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