So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
