you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just invented taco cereal.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
