Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
