This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
