Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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