I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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