The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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