fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
