Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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