So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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