Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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