yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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