What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
