End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize