if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
