I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
