Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
