I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
