She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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