Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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