so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
