i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
