she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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