you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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