Plan B is the new Plan A
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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