Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Girls should come with a carfax report
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
