YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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