Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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