There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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