Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
