Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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