How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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