he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
