he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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