doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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