did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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