How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
