It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
