I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
