i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
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Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"