just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night