Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009