Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
