see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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