Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
