why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
