Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
